1001

Poppy stuck her tongue out today. I came home and she was standing in the foyer looking adorable with her tongue deliberately protuding beyond her rose coloured lips. Mick hadn't seem her do it yet. She had saved this cool new trick for when I got home. Obviously assuaging her guilt from when she had learnt to blow rasberries while I was at work and by the time I got home had forgotten how to do it.

Today she was making ammends. Then I spent the next 3 hours poking my tongue out at her and laughing encourgingly when she did the same. I began to wonder if I was teaching her a useful life skill. I then began to ponder how long would it be until I tell her off for sticking her tongue out.

Has anybody done a study on when "it's" not cute anymore? Is there a number when the magic disappears or does it slowly fade until you can't remember when it was cute? In lue of answers I'll just enjoy the magic while it lasts. Maybe if I hold on tight enough the magic will never go away.

On the other hand...

Left: I loved going to Uni. It took me a couple hours journey every day to learn amazing things. I could make my student pension go a mile. I loved buying new shoes I would wear them to go out clubbing. I loved the beat and trying out my newest moves. I loved to dress up and steal a sexy glance or two. I loved to flirt. Back then I would transform between the hours of 9pm and 10pm as I got ready to prowl. The girls and I would play hard and long and leave them dead in our wake. We'd go home, alone, recharge for another week learning and sleeping. Just to play again.

Right: I am never alone. I am completely responsible and I have more money than I have ever had before yet it has been a year since I have bought new shoes, for myself. I love that I have company and someone to share any variety of moment I could possibly come across. I love to be taught about learning everyday. I'm learning about cause and effect, good and bad, age of choice, questions and answers, coping mechanisms and most of all the limits of human endurance.

Zac asks questions that make me have to use all the knowledge I thought was useless. Gus...so funny. And Poppy is quick and smart and gets what she wants by any means necessary.

My relationships are more solid. Sure they don't glitter and sparkle and give you butterflies in your stomach. Now it's a feeling that is stuck like super glue. I nurture, I nourish and a lot of people need me.

Every now and then I lament my lost youth. I dance and I just don't move like I used to, and even if I did it would just look sad. I wish...

And then I know that I wouldn't trade what I have for any random pash or long distance relationship. Mick laughs when I try to have a make out session. He makes me come back into a room just to tell me he loves me, especially when I'm running late. I know what he's thinking, I know what he needs and I know that he wants me.

These things just happen

I sent my son to school today,

He came home with a friend,

I can cross that off my worry list,

That puts nutrition at the top.

I sent my son to school today,

He came home without a note,

To tell me of some naughty prank,

He must have been real good.

I sent my son to school today,

I can't believe he's five,

He reads his book and ties his shoes,

And buttons up his shirts.

I sent my son to school today,

I'll send him back tomorrow,

They'll fill his head with useless stuff,

He'll never need to use.

I wanted to go to school today,

I wanted to make him safe,

I think that I have done my best,

I had to let him go.

Hottest 100(ish)

Help me finish my Australia Day list I'm 20 shy of a full packet.

1 Tim Tams

2 Tim Tam slams
3 Cadbury Chocolate
4 Haighs Chocolate
5 Vegemite on toast
6 Magnums
7 Lamingtons
8 Darrell Lea Licorice
9 Bundaberg Ginger Beer
10 Roy and HG
11 The Umbilical Brothers
12 Adam Hills
13 Wil Anderson
14 Fiona O'Loughlin
15 Cate Blanchet
16 Geoffrey Rush
17 Anne Geddes
18 Megan Gale
19 Australian Tennis Open
20 Aussie Rules Football
21 The Wallabies
22 Adelaide United
23 Clipsal 500
24 Tour Down Under
25 Australia Day
26 ANZAC Day
27 Cup days
28 6 weeks school holiday at Christmas
29 Pool parties for Christmas
30 Mall's Balls
31 The Big Banana
32 Sydney Opera House
33 Harbour Bridge
34 Mt Lofty

35 Glenelg Beach

36 Bondi Beach
37 St Kilda Beach
38 Fanny Bay
39 Gold Coast
40 The Great Barrier Reef
41 The Blue Mountains
42 The Outback
43 The Bush
44 The Back of Beyond
45 The Great Ocean Road
46 Ayers Rock
47 Margaret River

48 The Barossa

49 The Coorong
50 The Great Australian Bight
51 Trackies
52 Battlers
53 Muffin Tops
54 Speedo
55 Sass & Bide
56 Thongs
57 Ugg Boots

58 Zinc Cream
59 Rove
60 Kath and Kim
61 Neighbours
62 Ned Kelly
63 Dawn Frasier
64 Allan Davis
65 Mem Fox
66 Princess Mary
67 Miles Franklin
68 Henry Lawson

69 Dame Edna
70 Wollemi Pine
71 Sturt Desert Pea
72 Yellow Wattle
73 Roos
74 Emus
75 Tasmanian Devil
76 Frilled Neck Lizard
77 Powder finger
78 Spiderbait
79 Sarah Blasko
80 The Herd
81 John Butler Trio
82 Kate Miller-Heidke
83 Casey Stoner
84 Matt Hayden
85 Simon Baker
FROM KRISTIE
86 V8 Commodore
87 The Wiggles
88 Paspaley Pearls
89 Qantas
90 Bonds
91 Triple J
92 Coopers
93 K-Rudd

FROM ARIANA
94 Ian Thorpe

FROM SHARON
95 Fairy Bread
96 Chico Rolls
97 Musk Lifesavers


FROM IRISH
98 Crocs
99 Classic Chocolate Milk
100 Fru Chocs

Thanks girls

Some thing nice

I'm grateful for simple things and siblings.

My Baby's Birthday

Happy birthday to you,Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Poppy
Happy birthday to you.

I love you baby girl. I can't believe all the things you have learnt to do in a year. You learnt three different ways to roam, crawl, walk and run. That is after you learnt to roll over and sit up. In the last couple of weeks you have graduated to climbing. Your rhythm is impeccable and you dance to anything that comes to your ears. Your specialty is TV ads with a funky beat.

You have learnt the names of all the people you love the most. And you love to play peekaboo. You pick up your dress and hide your eyes then say "Ba" when we say "Where's Poppy". You laugh all the time. You'll jump up out of the blue and run into the kitchen and back to the lounge room laughing the whole time. You have learnt to blow kisses and give your brothers big hugs. When you hug your baby doll you copy Mummy and say "Ah-ah".

You have learnt to be gentle, and sorry when you forget. You have learnt the signs for sorry, gentle, Goodbye, finished, more, drink, biscuit, eat, please and thank you.

When someone else is getting attention for crying you come close and copy with the most awesome replica of a cry. Very cheeky. Best of all you have learnt that you can have the most fun with Zac and Gus so you follow them when they leave the room just in case they are on the path to big adventure.

When I ask you to do something for me you lean on the nearest upright surface such as the couch and show me your 'I'm too cute to work, can't you see I'm a princess' pose. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

You have learnt that the best way to get some quality time is to find a book and give it to Garrett, Dad or Mum. Then we read and play with you until you get tired of us.

As well as all that you have grown 20cm, put on 6kg, grown 11 teeth and changed your hair colour from dark brown to blond.

Wow what a year.

It's not a lot but it is my life.

I start work tomorrow. I leave my babies at home as I go to work to look after the educational and emotional welfare of other children. I won't watch Poppy do laps of the lounge. Every day with each step she grows. I won't be home to manage and mold brotherly 'love'. I won't be sitting on my couch, in the car with the kids or at my Mum's when it dawns on me that I must again feed the masses. "What should we have for dinner tonight?" There are a myriad of moment I won't be watching anymore.
Instead, from tomorrow, I will make a lunch time phone call, even though I'm worried that I will be waking Mick from a nap. I call to know they are all doing just as they would if I were home. I go to work because I love them. I endeavour to not have to work so hard in the near future. (I have a plan.)
All I will be left with are the mornings and evenings. We will start the day together right and every night I will nourish them and love them as much as I can before bed time. Then each night as I move from room to room I will perform my final acts of love. I'll check each door and lock them to ensure the security of my family. I'll look in on the boys to be reassured they are safe and at peace. Then I'll take my baby to bed and give her suckle as we both fade into the night.