1001

Poppy stuck her tongue out today. I came home and she was standing in the foyer looking adorable with her tongue deliberately protuding beyond her rose coloured lips. Mick hadn't seem her do it yet. She had saved this cool new trick for when I got home. Obviously assuaging her guilt from when she had learnt to blow rasberries while I was at work and by the time I got home had forgotten how to do it.

Today she was making ammends. Then I spent the next 3 hours poking my tongue out at her and laughing encourgingly when she did the same. I began to wonder if I was teaching her a useful life skill. I then began to ponder how long would it be until I tell her off for sticking her tongue out.

Has anybody done a study on when "it's" not cute anymore? Is there a number when the magic disappears or does it slowly fade until you can't remember when it was cute? In lue of answers I'll just enjoy the magic while it lasts. Maybe if I hold on tight enough the magic will never go away.

On the other hand...

Left: I loved going to Uni. It took me a couple hours journey every day to learn amazing things. I could make my student pension go a mile. I loved buying new shoes I would wear them to go out clubbing. I loved the beat and trying out my newest moves. I loved to dress up and steal a sexy glance or two. I loved to flirt. Back then I would transform between the hours of 9pm and 10pm as I got ready to prowl. The girls and I would play hard and long and leave them dead in our wake. We'd go home, alone, recharge for another week learning and sleeping. Just to play again.

Right: I am never alone. I am completely responsible and I have more money than I have ever had before yet it has been a year since I have bought new shoes, for myself. I love that I have company and someone to share any variety of moment I could possibly come across. I love to be taught about learning everyday. I'm learning about cause and effect, good and bad, age of choice, questions and answers, coping mechanisms and most of all the limits of human endurance.

Zac asks questions that make me have to use all the knowledge I thought was useless. Gus...so funny. And Poppy is quick and smart and gets what she wants by any means necessary.

My relationships are more solid. Sure they don't glitter and sparkle and give you butterflies in your stomach. Now it's a feeling that is stuck like super glue. I nurture, I nourish and a lot of people need me.

Every now and then I lament my lost youth. I dance and I just don't move like I used to, and even if I did it would just look sad. I wish...

And then I know that I wouldn't trade what I have for any random pash or long distance relationship. Mick laughs when I try to have a make out session. He makes me come back into a room just to tell me he loves me, especially when I'm running late. I know what he's thinking, I know what he needs and I know that he wants me.