Last Sunday afternoon I was just settling in to enjoy my last Sunday afternoon of rest as we go to 1pm church next year. It was then that Garrett called from work to complain about how bored he was and a grand idea was hatched. "How about we go up to Strath for the night?" "Sure. We could be on the road in an hour." 2 secs later slap. slap, slap what was I thinking, 3 children, their clothes, their bedding, their food, their toys, their nappies, 1 husband, his clothes, his bedding, his food, his toys, his...Then "How about we stay two nights?" "Sure!" 2 secs later spare clothes, spare bedding, spare toys, spare nappies...

1hour 10mins later everyone is in the car and we are backing out the drive. I am so good.

Good thing we packed for two nights because on Monday we were so tired from our walk in Victor Harbor we never could have driven home safely.

We had a lovely couple of days away made even nicer for the fact that we brought the Xbox and the boys watched KungFu Panda twice everyday.

We are home now and back to reality with a massive thud when Zac threw up in the car, in the kitchen, in the lounge room and outside. I'm so glad I have such fond memories of our family holiday to get me through this tough time.

O Christmas Tree

Do you think Santa will deliver presents under our Christmas tree?

While you were away

We went bowling.

Amy vs Brenton

Zac doing it with style

I need sleep, oh I need sleep.

Oh holy precious rest. May you not elude me as I seek your ample bosom. I search for peace from the constantness of existence. Freedom beconds. Oh sacred grail may I find you at the end of day.

But I can afford a birthday cake.

Zac is 5 today. Five years ago he was born into this world with great spirit. My poor little drugged up fighter. He fought so hard to not come into the world that it's no suprise that he's so quick to be angry about anything this world might ask of him. His answer to just about everything is I didn't ask to be here, I don't have to like it.
He doesn't like any water in his eyes while bathing. He doesn't like people in his space if he didn't invite them. He doesn't like to be ignored even for a minute. He doesn't like to wait to tell me his newest awesome piece of knowledge. He hates being suprised and not knowing the out come before hand. He hates to be beaten in anything. He doesn't like to be confronted.
On the other hand he has found joy in many earthly pursuits since his birth. He loves his cousins and wants to go visit with family often. He loves to go to primary for all the right reasons (he doesn't have a good friend in his class). He loves to learn new things and since going to kindy and primary he is learning so many more things than I could teach him at home. He loves to cuddle me. He loves to wrestle with his Dad. He loves being in our family.
And we love having him in ours.

While exercising new sipirtual muscles

"Thank you for our Father who twirls in Heaven above."
Zac 4 years 11 1/2 months
Not only did he say this in his prayer but he said it so deliberately that he pointed out the mention of the twirling Father after tonight's prayer, saying he had said it because he had learnt it in a song.
I know that music and dance are ways to praise God but until tonight I hadn't thought of Him singing or dancing. Maybe He does.

Smarter than my other average bears

Too fast she has grown. Poppy is still much faster when she crawls but that isn't stopping her from trying to run away from me. In the evening when the boys have been put to bed I'll watch TV or surf and Poppy will cruise. She'll then get it into her head that she wants to visit the boys. Obviously she is delusional with tiredness and has forgotten how they torment her daily. What gives her away is that she stands in the doorway and hesitates. Right there she is making her decision. It goes something like this.

"Do I just play here on the floor OR make a run for the boys where they will laugh at me and encourage me to be deliciously naughty."..."Oh look Mum left the hallway door open. The Fates have spoken."..."Here I go. To the bedroom."...one step, two step, thr.."Oh no! Mum's coming. RUN!" ...Smack..."Scratch that. CRAWL!!!"..."Ha, ha, ha, she got me. Oh well better luck next time."

Buy Me a Pony

I want to be a cow girl,

I'll need to have a horse,

My parents didn't get me one,

They cost too much of course.

My husband gave me kids,

I cannot ride them, yet,

I would get in trouble,

If on them I did get.

I'll have to get my own horse,

I'll save the money now,

To buy a Thoroughbred,

I wouldn't want a cow.

I wish I were these lucky girls,

But for now it seems,

A cow girl in my mind,

I only have my dreams.

Amy & Poppy

September 2008
Papers and embellishments from Cottage Arts web site.

"You know Mum, dinosaurs lived a very,very,very....long time ago. So did Jesus.
(pause) Jesus gave the Fossils the last supper. Then when Jesus died the Fossils became the missionaries. Mum we see the Fossils at Church."

Zac 4 years 11 months

I spy

with my little eye something that

starts with G

Dear Sir

I'm sorry to bother you but I would like to let you know that you are bothering me. It's possible you aren't aware that when you play your bass guitar at 11pm at night I can hear it and it disturbs my attempts to sleep. I'm sure you think you have turned the volume down on your amp but the funny thing about bass music and night air is that the low frequency sound waves of your private jam session carry further and stronger because of the lack of ambient city sounds. I'm suprised that your wife hasn't told you that it's not your best idea considering you have small children as well. I understand that a man has to have a hobby. Could you just do yours in a sound proof booth or at another time. Maybe wear some head phones, better yet, get another hobby, just don't join the turbo boosted drag racers on our street.
Thank you, good night.

Dear drag racing Sir's
I'm sorry to bother you but...

October Photos

I climbed a mountain today

It's insidious. Growing at such a deceptive rate that I didn't notice it until it was too late. When I did look back I was alarmed and then depressed. The mountain that had seemingly grown overnight looked insurmountable. Not knowing where to start I let it grow for a bit longer. Despite knowing that the longer I left it to grow the harder it would be to turn around. Growing and growing, I passed it several times a day turning my blind eye and hoping that the space time continuum would take care to reverse my misfortune. But alas and alack it was not to be. No kind stranger took pity on me to restore the order that was so badly missing. No friend visited, mystically knowing that I would accept a helping hand to quash the chaos. I spent longer than necessary at base camp.
Until this morning. I took a deep breath and dove in. I started with the spent items then moved on to the books. I put away boxes of things that didn't even belong in the room let alone on the desk. The rest I stacked in a pile to be sorted, later. The job was not as bad as I had made it out to be. I was impressed with how little time it took to reclaim my sacred space. Now I sit at the alter of modern life with a clear keyboard ready to do all the things I have been putting off because tomorrow finally came.

Tell me they look like me

Because everyone says he looks like him.

together

I've never scrapped with anyone else. I've usually scrapped at very unsociable hours of the day. Until Kristie got Adobe and started asking for some quick tips. We got together last Monday and spent a couple hours together. She on her laptop, I on mine. We discussed elements of the program periodically but mostly sat in companionable silence interjected with occasional "MUM!"'s and "STOP THAT"'s. I had a good time. I hope she did too.

I love him

Tonight he said it doesn't matter where he is in 8 years, as long as he's with me.

I love him.

Happy 9th Anniversary!

Ramblings from my journal October 2005

It’s been a while but I have been busy.

Angus George was born on Saturday 1st October 2005. it was 5pm and the student doctor who helped deliver you was the winner of the time bet. You weighed exactly the same as Zac but you were shorter with a bigger head.

I started having contractions on Friday evening and at 3 in the morning I went for a bath and slept in there for about an hour. I called mum who was in Pt Augusta at 5 in the morning that she might want to be here around 10am. Because I thought that might be a good time to go into hospital. I didn’t end up going until 2pm after taking Zac to Ingrid’s house. Granny came to get Amy earlier in the day. Once we got to the hospital I was very ready to have my new baby. The hospital was having renovations and we had to follow signs to find the admittance room. Thankfully it was quiet because I was looked after very efficiently. Next time I think I might go into hospital a bit earlier because I think I was very lucky to get an epidural almost as soon as I got to the room and asked for the needle. After that things slowed down a bit, for which I am very grateful. I didn’t get to move around after I got the epidural but I have to remember next time that I shouldn’t lie on my side just after they give the injection because only one side of my body got the fluid and my left leg went all numb and tingly and it was not a nice feeling. As the epidural wore off and the contractions came harder I needed the mask with mostly oxygen. Mick and Mum held me up to give birth and I held onto the mask. The next day I couldn’t figure out why the bridge of my nose was so sore until a bit later on when I realize it was because I had been pressing the mask to my face so hard. The epidural was wearing off in the late stages of labour and I certainly was grateful for the drug because it was very painful. However it was still awesome to have a midwife who let me tell her what I was feeling and when it was time to push. At one point though I remember telling everyone and anyone that I couldn’t push anymore because it hurt too much but that I knew I had to keep going. It was a wonderful powerful experience that I would not trade with anyone.

As soon as my beautiful baby was born the midwife placed him on my chest and I was able to confirm, what I strongly suspected, that this baby was indeed a healthy boy. Mick again didn’t rush to hold the new baby and I told him to just do it. Mum says that he was so overcome by everything that he was close to tears. He told me later how proud he was of me and how in awe he was of the strength I had to do this for him. After mum had a hold and we had pictures the student doctor was writing on the i.d. card and I asked him to write Gus instead of Baby Vojnovic because even though we didn’t have a name for the boy he had been referred to as Gus for at least 5 months. At that point the medical people left and we talked about whether we name the new baby Angus George or Padrig George. Angus meant ‘unique strength’ and the student doctor had commented on how strong the baby was with his grip so it just all made sense to name him Angus George . George is the name of Mick’s uncle who died while he was young and I always thought that it would be important to give this name to a strong son. I hope that Gus will live well for his name sake.

It’s a new year and hopefully we will have more to celebrate/announce this Christmas. (I was trying to go back to back with a new baby. No luck Poppy was born over two years later)

I'm "IT"

Shelley tagged me so here I go.


I am always on the computer.
I am little bit overweight
I think that I should get in better shape
I know Christmas is in 12 1/2 weeks
I want a good idea for Ewan's christmas present
I have excema on the back of my neck
I wish my children didn't have excema as well
I hate
I miss Brenton and Kent
I fear that I will die before all my children are grown up
I feel a bit sick today
I hear my two boys playing very nicely together
I smell freshly cooked chocolate chip biscuits
I regret dating one or two individuals
I love food
I care about the kids I work with
I always put my makeup on in the car
I believe in God the Eternal Father and in his Son Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost
I dance in the car
I sing children's primary songs
I'm a bit cross with Mick
I write notes for everything
I win children's computer games
I lose my temper when I'm tired
I never worry about the dishes
I listen to BBC radio while I'm going to sleep
I'm scared of damaging my kids beyond repair
I read to my children every night
I'm happy about living in a country that has government healthcare and welfare

Look out you might be "IT" next.

ANY WOO

Gus is keeping me company.
Gus says "Mum, our family is good. And Mum?"
"Yeah."
"Me are good. The monsters are in the house and just one got me. And one didn't get you."
"Really who did it get"
"Singie. He was this much my age. He was your age that is my friend."
"What's his name again?"
"No don't call me, silly you. And Mum?"
"Yeah?"
"The biggest means he's my age and he's Singie. He's my brother and he hugs me, they are monsters and they are monsters Singie got me and my brother and they ares monsters in my house."
"Any thing else?"
"Nooo, there's no monsters there's no monsters in our house. There no such thing as monsters there's no monster but there some in the play room on tuesday. Mum look at those things mum what are they called?"
(I'm busy typing everything verbatim so I don't look.)
"I don't know."
"If there are monsters we will have to get out of the house and on to the roof and aren't able to see us. We will need a ladder to get up on to the roof."
"Okay Gus time for bed."
"Mum can you come with me to Zac's bed? Cos I will be scared. Just right now."

Did I really choose this?

Who am I?
I cart the washing basket around the house and I walk past a mirror. I glance in and see myself not as I do everyday but as though I were someone else. I then pose the question "How did you get here?"
How did I become a mother of three? When did I choose to be married to 'him'?
I have always known that I would bear many children and I knew on our first date that I would be sealed to Mick. But I had no idea that it would be like this. My life is no sitcom, no drama series, no soap opera. I don't get to call "cut" or take a break. I don't have nannies or chefs or personal trainers. I see myself as though I am looking at someone else and I think "You are the grown up. You get to tell people what to do."
"Go to bed. Eat your dinner. Say sorry."
Every now and then I mix it up, I let them have ice cream before dinner or I say they can stay up with me. I'm constantly training and rewarding all the while looking forward to the next time I'm not "on". I have to be responsible. I'm the one who remembers the sun screen. I make sure the packed lunch and nappy bag gets made when we go out for the day.
I have three children, maybe I'll have more, but even if I don't I'm still the boss.

I then realise, I've become my Mum and that's okay.

enriching

I went to Relief Society Enrichment tonight. I have been neglectful of my duties as a Sister in my ward for some time now and for that I am sorry. It was a beautiful night. We practiced relaxation techniques, praised each others talents, listened to a beautiful musical number and were delighted by a ballet solo. I was moved to tears during the musical item and I was touched by the Spirit. I received confirmation that the path I have recently chosen is good.

I have recently chosen to invite God to be a part of my everyday through prayer and study. I endeavour to be more diligent in my efforts to raise my children in righteousness. As I do these things I know that I will be blessed. I know that God loves me and sent His son Jesus Christ to atone for my sins. I know that because of this great sacrifice and if I am found worthy I will be able to live with Him again.

10 things

I can do with a baby on one arm.
* Blog
* Make a peanut butter sandwich and cut the crust off.
* Go to the toilet.
* Have a shower.
* Put my jeans on.
* Fold clean clothes.
* Clean the bathroom.
* Tidy up the lounge.
* Put tooth paste on everyone's tooth brush and brush their teeth.
* Make a cake.

So you think you can dance.

Not so much dancing as running in time to the music. His moves were unique. Without hesitation Zac had walked ahead of his Mum, payed his money and proceeded to the dance floor. It was there that he danced like he had never danced before. Surrounded by his peers he was all alone. He had gone to a special place where his heart was full and his bliss complete. Needing noone else Zac danced and never stopped until the music did. "Mum I can dance!" "I know baby and you were awesome."

Will I get fired?

I read an article today in a local paper about how the inter-web thingy has caused people to lose prospective employment due to the fact that the interviewee has Googled the name and come across unsavoury personal information that was intended as communication between friends. Maybe a little racist joke or a sexist remark is all it could take to turn someone away.

So I Googled my name and I only found my facebook page. Maybe I should change from being in an open relationship to a marriage relationship with my husband. And I've thought about my blog...

I think I'll keep my job today especially if I mention I think my new boss is pretty awesome (honestly).

Note to self - at work

- Don't turn your back on a 6'2'' guy with autism who likes you and would rather hit you than hug you.

- Show less cleavage when working with 14 year old boys.

- Stand your ground when teenage boys are testing your resolve.

- Drink plenty of water on days when you have to do yard duty in the sun.

- Don't get sulky when a relief teacher tells you she knows what she's doing when you offer some friendly advice. She'll learn soon enough she really needs your help.

- Don't bend down to say hello to a kid with autism who likes to spit in your face.

- Don't assume that a child with autism is smelling the hair that you washed that morning. He is more likely to be wiping spit from his face or sniffing it up his nose.

- Be more grateful when someone else says they will do your duty.

- Be more active during morning health hustle. In this job you need to be fit.

- Wear a t shirt under your jumper on cool Spring days as you are bound to get too warm by the end of lunch.

- Don't scold a boy with autism unless you can handle the fact that he will spend the rest of the day coming to you to discuss his most recent poor choice.

- Don't injure a lover of Thomas the Tank Engine who also has autism as he will fall on the floor shouting, "Nobody was hurt, but Thomas and friends were badly bent."

- Don't waste your breath telling a teenager with Down Syndrome how to do something as they will patronizingly explain to you "I know Dee," and continue doing it perfectly wrong.

- Don't try to force anyone you work with to do anything as they are likely to hit you/themselves/others, run down the street, fall on the floor, break a window or throw bark chips at you. Just ask them nicely then do it yourself.

Roar

Angus

standing up

Gus has a couple of best friends. Rip-a-Lee, Oukie, Bimza, Shrek and Giggles. When we go out Gus will ask if one of his friends can come too. This short exchange will go something like this.

"Get in the car Gus."

"Can Oukie come?"
"Sure."
He'll then find his friend and say to him, "Yay! Oukie you can come."

A week ago we go in the car without the usual song and dance. As we were pulling out of the driveway I asked Gus if he was okay. He says to me "No Mum Oukie slap-da-me."

I was suprised and a little amused as I said "Really Gus? Why did he slap you."
"He just slap-da-me."
"Did you get cross with him?"

"Me telled him off."

"What happened?"

"He didn't listen to me."

"Oh well you can just play with your other friends when we get home. Okay Gus?"

"No Mum, Shrek slap-da-me, Bimza slap-da-me, Rip-a-Lee slap-da-me, Giggles slap-da-me."

"What did you do?"
"No, I didn't do anything they slap-da-me!"

"Okay Gus you're okay now. We'll be at Granny's soon."

Oukie

Shrek

Bimza

Rip-a-Lee

Giggles

I love him

Like a breath of fresh air I come home every day to the love of my life. You spend all night working and come home in time to look after our children so I can go to work too. And when I come home I know you are extremely tired. I tell you to go to bed a hundred times but you want to see me so you follow me around the kitchen. I love you sweet heart and I can't wait to spend more time with you.

"I'm tired, so freakin tired"

Just over a month ago I was awake 'til all hours of the morning as I tried to watch as much of Le Tour De France as possible. I was on school holidays for the first two weeks of the three week event. Of the 21 nights I believe I saw 4 or 5 finishes, at least two of which I was woken from slumber by Poppy just in time to catch the last 5 k's. Some nights I would remember to watch the highlights while I was making dinner but for the most part I missed the end of many more stages than I caught. And for all of my trouble I was still woken at about 6am by The Boys.

Ten days ago my sleeping problems returned with a vengence. The Olympic Games began auspiciously. I took the kids up to Kristies house, where we watched the opening ceremony and ate Chinese food together. At 11pm when all the dancing was done and athletes were entering the stadium I thought it was time to make the 45 minute drive home with my sleeping babies. About 25 mins into the trip I knew we would not make it home safely I tried to get there in one continuous run. I would blink my eyes and they had become sluggish and disgruntled. They did not want to stay open. My only option was to pull over and join my children in the land of nod. I turned off the main road and parked between a church and a school. I double checked the locks on the doors, reclined my chair and slept for 40mins. I awoke when Poppy stirred as she would soon need a feed and I had no bottle to give her I started the car once more and drove home safely. Since that night I have been home to watch all of my evening Olympic events so that I can sleep within the peacful confines of my own bed when I get too tired.

Wii, wii, wii all the way home.

Wii are a gadget sort of family. Wii have always enjoyed playing on the computer. When wii were married 6 months Mick used our first combined tax return to buy a very awesome computer, I think it had 80gb harddrive. Now wii have two computers, a his and hers, and his has a terabyte of harddrive space. Wii used to have the original Playstaion but somebody "borrowed" it. Then wii got an Xbox and that has mainly utilised as a DVD player as Mick used his computer as a gaming device. About a year ago, when Zac was about 3 1/2, he became interested in playing on my computer. Wii then let him play on the Xbox and wii spent many afternoons playing together. Somedays I couldn't tell if Zac had had a turn because everytime I walked through the family room Mick was "helping" him get a new level. Two weeks ago wii got a Wii. Since then wii have been playing on the Wii a lot.


Now wii have to get a bigger TV!

Me thinks she doth protest too much.

Maybe I do still cook a little bit.

Nana used to make awesome soups. On alternate Sundays we would go and spend the afternoon or evening at Nana and Papa's house. She would cook a sufficient meal with ingredients from her garden, cucumber or dill. I remember most fondly her milky cabbage soup and borscht. During the course of our stay we would try not to get in Butch's way. He was a Pomeranian who guarded Papa well. My favourite days were ones when Nana would let me play with her jewellery box. She had some great clip on earings that dangled just right with necklaces to match. There were some items that were off limits and every now and then Nana would sit down and show me her pieces of amber. They were so facinating so warm and unique. I remember her saying that one day she wanted her grandaughters to have them.

While I was at the Central Market with Mum on Saturday I got a little nostalgic and thought that I would do a bit of cooking in the next week. I bought the things that I thought should go into borscht (beetroot soup). Last night when I brought out the recipe I found that I had not gathered together some ingredients that were in the recipe. So I improvised. I used potato instead of cabbage, tinned tomatoes instead of fresh and parsley instead of dill. I also didn't go with the measurements of the recipe. I used the 'little bit of this' method and I think it turned out just like Nana used to make. Very good.

first bite

If you look really close you can see Poppy's first tooth. She's had it about a month now and I just love to put my finger in her month and give it a rub as though it were the Blarney Stone. Admittedly I'm also checking for more sharp spots because I missed the initial appearance of this one.

I have spent the last two weeks watching my baby NEARLY crawl, listening to Gus's jokes and running through emergency procedures with Zac. He's very conscientious.

I don't cook any more.

About four and a half years ago I stopped cooking. I was well on my way to cooking like my Mum and Nana. You know the type, the guest asks "How did you make the pastry for the tart? It was so sweet and moist." The cook responds "Well...The recipe says... But I just did..." The guest asks "Can I have the recipe for your rissotto?" The cooks answer is "Well...I make it a bit different everytime. I don't really have a recipe."

Four years later the only thing I cook from scratch without using a recipe is pancakes. Put some self raising flour in a bowl with some sugar. Add one or two eggs, depending on how much flour you put in. You can put some vanilla essence in if you want. Then pour in milk until it is just right. Pour the batter into the hot pan. Sometimes I add a couple of grated, peeled granny smith apples and cinnamon. Sometimes I add drinking chocolate or milo to the flour. Sometimes we just have plain with lemon and sugar on top. And sometimes I make these for dinner. To cook them it is best to heat vegetable oil in a pan so you can shallow fry the pancakes and this gives then a lovely crisp edge. But it is also okay to cook them in a non stick pan for the fat conscious family members.

But I digress. For the first four years of our marriage I made many awesome home cooked meals that were enough to feed many more people than ate at our table each night. I would come home from work excited about what I had planned for dinner that night. I shoulder part of the responsibility for Mick's weight gain in the early years of our marriage as I indulged him with my enjoyment in the ktchen.

When I was dating him his idea of a balanced meal was two minute noodles with frozen vegetable. Then we came together and I cooked stuffed capsicum and chilli chicken with marinade I had made from scratch. I made muffins with apples I had stewed and decorated cakes with chocolate swirls I had made the day before. I enjoyed cooking. I think I still do. I just don't make time anymore nor do I have enough brain power to plan a meal more than an hour in advance. So now I make beef strog from a jar, just add beef, mushrooms and sour cream. I make cakes with Betty Croker. And when I say, "Boys lets cook today," we make jelly.

the park

This layout idea came from the embellished website.
I use digital paper and embellishments from cottagearts-net.stores.yahoo.net.

Don't...

"Don't touch the computer screen. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch the screen. Don't touch the screen."

"Don't tease your brother. Don't tease your brother. Don't tease your brother. Don't tease your brother. Don't tease your brother. Don't tease your brother. Don't tease your brother. Don't tease your brother. Don't tease your brother."

"Don't jump on the couch. Don't jump on the couch. Don't jump on the couch. Don't jump on the couch. Don't jump on the couch. Don't jump on the couch. Don't jump on the couch. Don't jump on the couch. Don't jump on the couch."

"Don't jump on your bed. Don't jump on your bed. Don't jump on your bed. Don't jump on your bed. Don't jump on your bed. Don't jump on your bed. Don't jump on your bed. Don't jump on your bed. Don't jump on your bed."

You get the point I don't know if they will.

More Kung Foo

We all went to the movies today to see Kung Foo Panda. Angus sat with Great Gran, Zac sat with his Dad and I had Poppy. Granny sat with Olivia and Kristie sat with her three and all the children were the best behaved they have ever been in a movie theatre. The movie was just the right length with just the right amount of action (a lot) to keep 2 year olds and 4 year olds interested with out too much wiggling. They were so well behaved I didn't even have to threaten them once with time out or smacks so hard they will be crying until they leave home. The movie even had a good message 'you are the secret to your success' or something like that.

After the movie back to mum's for the obligatory afternoon at Granny's for the cousin's to play together. However today we mixed it up a bit and made mum go and buy herself a new couch. She has been talking about it for 6 months and quite frankly Kristie and I were tired of it. So this afternoon we sort of ambushed mum and took her to buy a new couch. A very nice couch to be delivered in a several weeks.

It's 10pm now and I have just turned the light out on Ailish and Zac's sleep over, complete with sleeping bags and a blow up mattress.

Good night kisses for little lapland girl. Good night.

no more words